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cozy boys get candy?


Now that it's fall, my vocabulary is peppered with words such as toasty, snuggly, warmy (I know), and cozy, and my infinite need to be one of these words. At all times. Last week, it appeared that the parents of my little ones are on the same page, and I almost had like a goop attack when I arrived at school to see little Thomas suited up in dove grey cashmere sweatpants.

"Well aren't you cozy today, Thomas!" I said, buttoning up the matching cardigan.

"Oui, co-zy." he said, staring off into the distance. When I say a word that they don't understand, they have this out-of-body experience where they repeat the word, almost possessed, with glassy eyes. These are usually the words that "stick". 

On our walk back to his house from school, I had a sleepy Thomas in my arms (total upper body workout) with his friend Franck walking beside me. 

"Am I co-zy right now?" Thomas asked while snuggling his tiny French face into my cable-knit scarf.

"You must certainly are. The most cozy." I responded, readjusting him and realizing that he's not as light as he was last year.

Somehow this cozy talk piqued Franck's attention who wanted to be included, "What about me? Am I cozy too?"

Franck at this moment was wearing a Nirvana t-shirt, was swinging his mini trench coat in the air like a cowboy, and screaming "Pa pa pa papapa!" which I learned were the "lyrics" to this aggravating song. So was he cozy per se? He didn't exactly fit the profile of being conventionally cozy and told him I didn't think so, but ultimately only he could determine the level of his own coziness.

(Seriously, I can't believe these are the conversations I have at "work.")

That was when I learned that telling a child that they're not cozy is a big mistake. Huge. I also foolishly thought that they had understood the word for cozy which I had explained in French as being bien chaud, comfortable, tranquil, and content.

"Je suis cozy, aussi." Franck insisted with a huff.

With these little guys, their thoughts are fleeting and have learned that I don't have to respond to each item that comes out of their mouth and continued down the street with them, disregarding his desire to be cozy. Whatever. Unfortunately for me, Thomas was not going to let this one go. Putting on a little show to demonstrate his own maximum coziness, nestled in my arms, he peeked over my shoulder to meet eyes with Franck.

"Tu n'es pas cozy. Tu serais jamais cozy comme moi." Thomas antagonized with a grin.

Oh geez. You will never be as cozy as me? Really Thomas? 

And with that. Franck lost his shit.

On Boulevard Magenta in the 10th arrondissement, Franck, stamping his New Balances on the pavement, howled, "JE. SUIS. COZY! JE. SUIS. COZY!!!" 

As you can imagine, this captured the attention of many: one mother who had her own troupe to manage, looked at me and gave me a surprised "Oh là," three teen-agers began chanting "cozy, cozy, cozy" like a rap song; and one younger gentlemen looked down at a hysterical Franck with a chuckle said, "ooh, ça va mon grand." 

Having no choice but to handle this, I set Thomas down and crouched down to Franck. "Okay, okay," I said to him, "Relax dude, you are cozy. I have never seen anyone more cozy than you, ça va?"

"CA. VA. PAS!" he screamed with tears spilling down his face. "I'm telling my mommy on you that you said I wasn't COZY!" 

Then Thomas started crying. So now I had two pissed off kids to contain on the streets of Paris. What was the deal with this word? They never care this much about words in English, so what made this one an exception? Something was off.

"You guys, hold up," I intervened, "I need to know, what does cozy mean again?"

"It means being a good boy, sage,." they explained confidently in unison. "Cozy boys get des bon bons."

Cozy boys get candy? When did I ever say that? That doesn't even make sense. I would never say something as sleazy as cozy boys get candy.  

In order to gain some control, I had to go big here, and threatened that there will be no grenadine for the rest of their lives if they didn't apologize, tell each other that they are equally cozy, and to shake hands. The grenadine threat works every time. It's like French kiddie crack. They can't get enough of that stuff.

Now that I am on autumn break and the cozy incident is behind us, as I feel like I really explained it when we got back to Franck's house, I'm afraid a week later I stand corrected. Last night I received a text from one of the mothers asking, "What's this story about being cozy?" 

Oy vey.

I'll respond in two weeks.

18 comments:

  1. 'GOOP attack".....hilarious...

    haven't they just been in school for six weeks and now they get two weeks off?? what the?

    have a cozy day.

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    1. I had a luxury freakout! Cashmere sweatpants will do that. Hahaha! I couldn't beliieve it.

      They get vacation every six weeks which I actually think is a good idea. They are pushed so hard at school here. They start at 8:30 and end at 4:30. For a little kid, I think that's a long day. By the fifth week of school, you can see the fatigue hitting them. Vacation is always a good idea! ; )

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  2. I am peeing. "Cozy boys get candy" HAS to become a new code for something. Anything. Please! lol

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    1. It so has to be! It's too good! I know I'm going to drunk tweet at our party and hashtag that. I just know it. #cozyboysgetcandy

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    2. Can that be the name of our 2nd installment? lol

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  3. ROFL, I just can't even imagine where the sweets came into it! And I do love that it was Franck that lost it, he slays me!

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    1. I have no clue either! They totally added the candy part for convenience!

      I had a feeling you'd love the revival of Franck. It's ALWAYS him. JE SUIS COZY!!! Crazy kid. His mom actually recently told me she was still partying when she was pregnant with him, that explains a lot. : )

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  4. I'm incorporating, 'cozy boys get candy' into my bribing repertoire at chez moi. Gregory responds well to candy. 'Cozy' will be code for; just sit still on the couch and don't bother me. This should work for Fifty as well.

    And as if I was going to let this slide... cashmere sweatpants?!?! Who is this kid? Kanye Jr?!

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    1. You should!! Tell me how it works out! Cozy boys get candy! I love how your husband responds "well" to candy. You two crack me up.

      Omg, the cashmere sweatsuit. I KNOW. He was so boss in them too. Only in Paris, I tell you.

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  5. So funny!....I too love the slogan to "cozy boys get candy"......I can use that myself!

    Love Denise

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    1. Hahaha, it's great, right? Kids really do say the darnedest things! Cozy boys get candy? What the...? Ha!

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  6. Is that the matching scarf to my snuggly birthday present? I haven't whipped it out this year yet. Other than a few days a couple of weeks back, it's been mega doux!

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    1. No, it's not, it's a sweater blanket that I'm obsessed with! Oh you are probably so cute in your little scarf! Did i get you the matching hat or the mittens? I forget...

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  7. Too funny:))

    It's hard to explain such concepts as "cozy" to little ones. Evidently, they gave it the definition that suited them best;) Mind you, it's not so different to doing 'readings' for women desperate to meet a man... They have a tendency to leave out what they don't like, hear exactly what the want to hear, and give it their own twist for good measure.

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    1. They most certainly gave it their own definition! Like, where did candy come into play??? They blatantly made that up. LOL!

      You crack me up. I can imagine doing readings for women looking for Mr. Right being exhausting! I'm glad you don't do them anymore! In general, I think people see and hear what they want...guess this behavior starts at 5 years old!

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  8. Hilarious! I love your job stories they are extra funny.

    "warmy" *burst out into tears*

    Oh the joys of teaching English.

    Cozy boys gets candy... no wonder he threw a tantrum. Indeed he wanted to be the coziest of them all with the reward being candy.

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    1. Warmy! Hahaha I made that word up when I was little and from time to time, bust it out. It's so silly, I know.

      I have no idea how cozy turned into getting candy. Oh, kids....especially French ones...they crack me up!

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  9. I think you need to send the phrase "Cozy Boys Get Candy" to Miley Cyrus pronto. You can thank me later.

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