connect!

the great two.


With the wedding taking center stage pretty much the entire month of May, my two year blogaversary just sort of came and went. No dramatic credit rolling/Vespa riding video like last year, no mention, no balloons, no excitement, nothing. Well, not being one to let important details fall to the wayside (I am a Virgo after all), I will address the magic of this two year mark a few weeks late. 

So...two years. How did that happen? I really have come such a long way since this painful post. I don't even know who that girl is. She was someone desperate to move on, yet still holding on to an idea, almost adamant that it was her fate here in Paris. What a mess that whole ordeal was. I have never felt so lost in my entire life. I actually considered looking into sleeping in a Swiss rehabilitation center for six months like Jennifer North in Valley of the Dolls -- that's how painfully slow time was moving. Does something like that even exist?

This blog helped me to disengage from the delusion that the wrong person was my own and only, and forced me to move forward alone, one day at a time. Everyday that I wanted to pick up the phone or walk by his cafe in the Marais, I remembered the responsibility I had to this blog. I had to be strong, otherwise what kind of example would I have been setting (even though I had close to zero readers)? While going back and forth with a French comittment-phobe certainly would have made excellent blog fodder, I had made a decision to say goodbye to relationship drama along with my 20s. Never did I think that I would become so set in my conviction to focus on the positive. Some days were certainly harder than others, but with time and perseverance, I can look back two years later with pride that I have achieved my goal.

So there is something I didn't share with you all: back in September I reached out to him, "the" ex, via e-mail to bury the hatchet. Was it my job to patch things up? Not really, but being someone who believes in detaching with love, I had come full circle and was done being angry over something that was very much supposed to happen. There was no longer a point in holding a grudge. Is there ever? He wrote back immediately and asked about getting a drink together. My response back informed him of my 2013 plans to marry, and that the three of us could perhaps get a drink. I never heard back from him again...c'est comme ça.

I'd be lying if I didn't say that I have been reflecting these past few weeks on changing, growth, the power of experience and a having faith that everything does in fact, work out. These past two years have been my most formative as I was handed a crash course in dealing with life and the pure merde that sometimes comes along with it. Growing pains is an expression for a reason.

I would also like to take this opportunity to send a warm and sincere thank you to you, dear readers. Thank you for visiting, reading, commenting, connecting, and being more supportive than you even know these past two years. Je vous aime.

As a little thank you, here is a digital copy of our wedding party favors. We had made custom CDs with some of our favorite lovey dovey songs that reflected our tastes and humor with a homemade cover designed by moi. 

I wish you all a bon and hopefully sunny week-end!


18 Mai
Le temps de l'amour by Françoise Hardy
To the End by Blur
El Scorcho by Weezer
Nicotine and Gravy by Beck
Le Petit Pain au Chocolat by Joe Dessin
Easy Girl by Coconut Records
The Right Kind of Love by Jeremy Jordan (yes, from the 90210 soundtrack)
Cupid de Locke by The Smashing Pumpkins
Sugar Kane by Sonic Youth
Concrete and Clay by Unit 2+4
Push th' Little Daisies by Ween
I Adore Mi Amour by Color Me Badd
Waste by Phish
La Rose du Sang by Bertrand Bergulat
Oh La La by Faces

To listen to the Spotify playlist in its entirety click here!

25 comments:

  1. "that's how painfully slow time was moving." I had completely forgotten that feeling. For months after my one really bad breakup, time just didn't move. I was dumped, perfect word for it, in early december and to get to April seemed to take about 7000 years. Every day I'd wake up and just think, "Do I have to do another day?" The hours just ground on. Man.. being dumped really sucks. But everything worked out for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Isn't that one of the hardest parts of breaking up? Time just seems to stand still in this cloud of darkness. December to April, wow that's a long stretch in the dead of winter. That's rough.

      Being dumped really does suck. You think everyone has it better than you because they're not living in your head with your thoughts. I just shivered from remembering that horrible path of corrupt thinking I was on.

      Good thing that's all done with! And I take it you have survived as well from your dead of winter break-up? ; )

      Delete
  2. Just goes to show, a positive mental attitude will get you everywhere :o)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Positive thinking is more powerful than it gets credit for!

      Delete
  3. Happy two years! You are such an inspiration, really. To see (read about) you finding such happiness after the initial heartbreak is beyond encouraging for those of us who can relate on any level. Looking forward to your blog through even more happy beginnings :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Danielle! It's been a long journey and a new one has just begun. Let's see what the next few years brings. Being an expat, the fun never ends, wouldn't you say? : )

      Delete
  4. Congratulations on the two years. I have just gone back and read some of the earlier stuff.again. Just shows, you had no idea that two years later you would be married to a much nicer man............Gives hope to everyone that no matter how bad things seem today, this too shall pass. Very poignant for me at the moment.

    Love Denise.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad that this post sat well with you. It really does go to show that we don't know what the future brings and it's not our job to do all the work in forcing the answers. Let go and let God, right? ; ) The start of this blog really forced me to "work the program" and take things ODAT and once again, it worked.

      Thank you Denise for being such a loyal reader and for leaving me these lovely comments.

      Enjoy your trip and I'm pleased to read that M is doing better. : )

      Delete
  5. Congratulations! Your blog is such an inspiration :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Claudia. It means so much to me to read that I inspire. I hope to continue! Thank you for reading.
      : )

      Delete
  6. Beautifully written post. Bravo, Ella! And congrats to you and Aurélien!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Slava! Here's to the next two years! Cheers!

      Delete
  7. Wow! Think of how much has happened in two years and how much "cleansing" you've been doing around you!:) It'll be interesting to see how the next two years unfold. I'll bet you anything that they'll be just as jammed packed and crazy as the last two!:)))

    So, MF is not interested in hanging out with you and your new non-evil husband? The mind boggles;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Here's to the next two years!! I'm making new manifestations because my intentions have changed. As for the one I made in January, some of those have followed through, so thank you universe!

      I know, it's SO WEIRD that he doesn't want to hang out with us! Should we be offended? Honestly, I knew he wouldn't be interested in my offer, that was just my gentle way of letting him know that I'm out of the game, the cat lost interest in chasing the mouse long ago, our story is over. If it were up to him, we would still be doing a back and forth dance. He loved the drama.

      Thanks for sticking with me all these years. I will never forget your first comment and I was like huh? there's someone out there?? xo.

      Delete
  8. The Ella that thought she would of been alone forever with 20 cats like an old witch, is so long gone.

    I am so proud of the transition you have made from the day 1, it really isn't the same person. You are much happier and your perspective of life is one to adore.

    I'm glad Aurelien brought that spark into your life again and reminded you that you are amazing and this is how a man should treat with girlfriend, his fiance and now is wife.

    Oh, on a funny note, Do you still attend the gym to get your booty nice and firm? and what ever happen to the gym instructor that you called "yummy"?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Mlle Petit! What a thoughtful comment.

      Oy, I'm so glad that those days are over. It's such a relief, let me tell you. Cooped up alone in an attic apartment in Paris, while it was romantic, was inching close to its expiration date...although a few cats would be nice!

      That instructor's name was Thibault (one of my favorite French names) and no, I don't go to that gym anymore because I couldn't afford renewing the membership. I now do Tracy Anderson DVDs from home that really do work but are not as much fun as seeing Thibault's firm buns sashay about the fitness room!

      Really, thank you so much for this comment. I read it a few times because it brightened my morning. Thank you the smiles. : ) <--- oh look, there's another one! Smiles for all!

      Delete
  9. Congrats on two years...so much has changed, so much has happened...all for the good.

    love the song list...Oh la la...fantastic!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the well wishes...so much has changed, it's almost mind-blowing when I read through old posts. I'm glad that this evolution has been documented. : )

      Oh la la never gets played out! It's such a festive song that can be listened to on repeat! I'm glad it's not on the list of 50 classic rock songs that are played over and over on American classic rock stations...ahem, I'm looking at you "More Than A Feeling".

      Thank you again, Deb for your comment. : )

      Delete
  10. Happy blogaversary so pleased that you've found your bonheur and closure with MF (not that you were still hung up on him). Frick,I knew I shoulda grabbed one of the CDs when I saw them, but didnt and forgot... Oh well, I don't have a CD player anyway, so will just have to enjoy the digital version!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh you didn't get a CD? I'll take care of that. We'll include it in your thank you package we're sending out next week. We had so many left over, a lot of people forgot to take theirs! Thanks for letting me know!

      Delete
  11. AnonymousJune 11, 2013

    Happy two year blogaversary!!

    I'm also glad to hear that you buried the hatchet. Courageous!

    It's amazing how a blog and a few anonymous readers can provide such strength! It's been a wild ride and I'm so proud of all you've gotten through! You helped me keep my head up high in my own personal situations. And I'm certain that I'm not the only one you've deeply inspired.

    Love the CD. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! It had been a wild two years. I wonder where the creepy subletter from Long Island is these days...ha ha ha.

      I feel honored to be an inspiration. Wow. : ) I really do think it works in full circle, we all inspire each other and that's whats so great about our little community of Americans in France!

      Glad you liked our goofy CD! Thank you for being a part of these past two years. : )

      Delete
  12. Happy Blogaversary! But more importantly, congratulations on where you are now as opposed to where you were two years ago. You've come a long way, baby! Now I'm going to click on your playlist in the hopes that it will help me forget about the grey skies and rain falling in Paris.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I adore the scooter-themed CD covers and idea of your party favor CDs. As for the two year mark, congratulations!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thank you for writing and please never stop! If you ever turn this all into a book, I will be the first one to buy it xx

    ReplyDelete