Mermaid Mayhem.

As little girls, we all had one fokelore or fairytale icon that we preferred over others. Some of us chose to believe that somewhere in a forest, princesses were waiting in castles for their prince, while others preferred to stand their ground that unicorns do exist and were roaming in the sky with She-ra, the Princess of Power. As for me, after getting over the hard cold fact that Barbie and Ken didn't have a secret private life once I closed my Barbie box at night, I moved my obsession on to something more realistic. After all, I was getting older and Barbie was for babies. I discovered on a fateful YMCA field trip to the 14th Street movie theater that if you were going to be anyone in life, mermaids were the way to go - that and oily stickers.

Weeks before I turned 9 years old, my mother asked me what I would like for my birthday. One thing about my mom is that she will never be accused of being unsupportive, abrasive, yes, but she has always went along with all of my crazes and projects. She agreed when I wanted sparkly red star earrings like Jem for my 6th birthday, she said okay to ripped jeans so I could draw smiley faces on my knees like Debbie Gibson for Christmas 1987, and she saw absolutely no problem with my request for a balloon-stuffed purple strapless dress for my Jessica Rabbit Halloween costume, but for my 9th birthday, I has finally pushed the limits where my mother had no choice but to say no.

What could possibly be more inappropriate than a little girl dressed up like a cartoon slut for Halloween? My request wasn't so much inappropriate as it was impossible. My birthday wish was to have my mother to look into a surgical procedure to replace my lungs with gills so I could live in the ocean like a mermaid forever, and while were at it, to have my hair died red like Ariel.

My poor mother who was only 27 years old at the time, did her best to meet me in the middle and accommodate my request. That morning, I opened my box to find that my new respiration organs had been with a "Little Mermaid" quilt. She could be heard behind me background sucking on a Marlboro light saying "it's the same thing, you'll be sleeping unda the sea...just a litta different." No new lungs just a new blanket...and I loved it. It was perfect. As for the red hair, she made up for that years later for my 12th birthday during my intense Use Your Illusion I and II phase and let me get an Axl shade of Rock n' Roll red.

Now that I'm in my 30s and still have my mermaid quilt (that I hide in my closet when boys sleep over), I also still have my mermaid obsession and thought of no better place to fulfill it than in the Bahamas...with Aurelien who I force to take photos of my creepy visions.

This is what being a mermaid is to me...

Mermaid jewels found at the bottom of the ocean.
...or my suitcase. 

Sparkling green mermaid mani. 

 Long shimmery skirts.
Unfortunately, my hair is more Howard Stern than mermaid.
Italian girls woes...

and scaly mermaid back!

It was a dream come true!! I really lived out my mermaid fantasy this week! I frolicked in the ocean, sang to myself, made Aurelien reenact Prince Eric scenes, flopped around, and did not care at all about my extra rolls of wine fat around my waist. How will I ever adapt back to Parisian life? I know...#whitegirlproblems 

I deserved that one.

Note to my blogging friends: We're leaving the island tomorrow and I will be a better blogging friend when I'm back in New York. I'm sorry that I haven't been in touch. I look forward to catching up on all of your blog posts! I feel so out of the loop! I miss you guys. xo.


  1. I love that seb was ok with being prince eric. that's something sir l would do too and then that's when you know you have a keeper. they do silly stuff like that for their girls :) <3

    1. He was so okay with being P.E! I kept flopping in the ocean telling him to rescue me on the Bateau Babe too. We had a lot of fun and he has patience for my nerdiness during our first aquatic adventure together!

  2. As a boy growing up during that time, I had a completely different desire for Arial. Looking back now it just seems wrong. So wrong.

    1. Arial was hot, I don't blame you! Disney knew exactly what they were doing when they sketched in her little cleavage-enhancing purple seashell bra. Come on! Haha!

  3. Looking forward to your next blog posts!!!!! Have a safe trip back to NY


  4. So glad your moither drew the line at nw gills instead of lungs. We would so miss out on your blog as the pages would be too wet to read.
    I agree that Seb is a keeper. Any man that joins in with your fantasies is worth his weight in gold!
    Happy travels.

    Love Denise

    1. Thanks Denise! Yes, I'm glad she drew the line there too! It seems like it would have been a painful and risky surgery! ;)

  5. Love your posts, they're just so entertaining and interesting to read! Really enjoyed your little story about wanting to be a mermaid and it's so awesome that you were able to live it out now with that gorgeous scaly top! =)

    Love from the NaNa girls xoxo

    1. Hi Nana girls!

      How cute are you two? Thanks for the comment! I look forward to checking out your fashion blog!

      No but seriously, you two are adorable! ; )

  6. I have been a terrible blogging friend...but now my summer camp is ovah...I'm back! :)

    LOVE that last pic of you in that sequin top!


  7. I know that blanket. ;) I hope you are still giving cracking demonstrations at sleepovers. Love, Yoko.