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Day 365: Hollywood Ending.


I'm in my cold, empty, and bleak apartment staring out the window, waiting for my landlady to come by to pick up the keys. Each corner of my chambre de bonne that was once packed with my life of shoes, piles of sweaters, books, records, empty wine bottles set aside to recycle, and more shoes are now stark, as if life never happened here. The bed that was once soaked in my tears is now stripped with the apartment's linens optimistically stacked at the foot of the bed for the next girl, a hopeful Italian girl who has always wanted to live in Paris and learn French. I wish her the best.

So this is it. Time to say goodbye....

Goodbye to the ghost of MF coming to my apartment in the middle of the night to tell me that it wasn't what it looked like the night I saw him and that girl at the cafe. Goodbye to the haunting image of Barbara McRoy pawing through my belongings with strangers in my apartment, robbing me of who I am in Paris. Goodbye to my landlady coming into my apartment when she knew that I'd be away, hire a cleaning lady to clean it and handing me the bill. Goodbye to my anxiety that built up with every corner that I turned in the Marais, wondering who I would bump into, MF, his brother, his mother or worse, the creepy Phil. Goodbye to "Bad Romance" drunk sing-alongs on Rue Vieille du Temple on Saturday nights. Goodbye to the strange birds that hover low and squawk over the Marais, as if it is still a swamp. Goodbye to the irony of having a bridal shop on the ground floor of my building, and seeing brides try on dresses every single day. 

Goodbye to this year. Goodbye to 365 days of starting over in the City of Light. It's always darkest before the dawn, eh?

I've learned so much. I wouldn't give back a drop of this experience for the fairytale that Paris is supposed to be. Paris is real...and at the risk of getting all J.Lo on you, so am I. 

So here's my Hollywood ending...would you expect anything less from me?

56 comments:

  1. I LOVE IT!!! Congrats Ella on not only surviving, but thriving. Can't wait to see what wonderful things this year brings!

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  2. AMAZING!!!! Thank YOU for sharing your Paris story with us! I might be kinda lame but I teared up a little watching your video, not gonna lie.

    I'm sure the next 365 days are going to be AMAZING.

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    1. Thanks, Sue and you're so very welcome! It seems that a lot of readers got a bit teary eyed with the clip too. I love it, that means that my story touched you. :*)

      I'm glad that you all enjoyed reading about my madness and mayhem in Paris!

      Here's to the next 365!!

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  3. Yay for making it an entire year!! I know this year started out rocky, but it seems to have finished out pretty darn well! Looking forward to another year of stories!!

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    1. Thanks Shannon! Yes, this year started in the merde, but it turned out pretty great. Who knew? By October I was ready to throw in the towel! Glad I didn't! : )

      Thanks for your support this year, and good luck to you with your exciting new changes!

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  4. Loved it! I know you've been moving on this whole time, but very nice to see you end the year moving metaphorically and physically into the next stage and having come far enough to be thankful for how things (didn't) work out with that connard. Here's to many more happy bloggy days xx

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    1. Hi Gwan! Thank you so much! : )

      I'm so grateful that things didn't work out with him, becase had they not...I wouldn't have met any of you blogging ladies!

      ..and thanks for everything this year, you're incredible. Here's to the next 365 for the both of us!

      I'm taking my blog honeymoon this weekend, so I'll be back in the "sphere" next week to catch up with what you all have been up to.

      Have a good w-e. xo.

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  5. Haha, it's so dramatic, I love it. Keep it real girl! ;)

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    1. Me? Dramatic? Nooooooooo. : P

      Glad you got a kick out of the video...it's so dramz. Thanks for your comments this year. I look forward to finally meeting you one of these days! I've been wanting to meet you since K told me your story on the metro last spring.

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  6. Ella, I welled up watching that tribute... thank you.

    I believed in you from the get go and I'll continue to be there cheering for you!:)

    In two hours, I'm off to the airport. My two-year stint in The Hague is over. Tonight, I'm sleeping in my own bed! So we both are moving at the same time and embarking on the next phase of our lives at the same time! It'll be interesting to see what's in store for both of us in the next twelve months:) I'm sure we'll have a lot to celebrate a year from now:)

    Et tu as bien raison, MF est un connard fini!;)

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    1. AnonymousMay 18, 2012

      I welled up, too, which is strange because it is actually a celebratory post! GM x

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    2. Awww Duchess and GM! I welled up making it, but I thought it was just me because I'm so attached to the story, but I guess it touched a bunch of you. It's amazing. Thank you all for investing your time in my story and following me this year.

      All of us are going through such big changes now, it's great. Good luck with the move, Duchess. Enjoy your first night back in your own bed, and here's to the next twelve months. Wow. Time sure does fly, doesn't it?

      Duchess, thank you, thank you, thank you for your first comments, that you are not secretly my mom or aunt like I thought and all of your support. You encouraged me to keep going back in June of last year.


      xo. :*)

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  7. Yay! The day is here! And you've handled everything so beautifully! Funny when we "found" each other, day 365 seemed so far away. I loved your video! All the best to you Miss Ella xxx

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    1. Can you believe it? How fast time flies?! Your blogaversary is coming up too! Crazy, huh? Time in Paris, where does it go? You'd think between drinking coffee, wondering the streets, and sipping on rose, time would go by slower...but no.

      Glad you liked the video! Looking forward to seeing you next month. xo!!

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  8. AWESOME!! You are my inspiration!! All the best to you! xo

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    1. Thanks Emma...and WELCOME TO PARIS! This time is so special for you. Enjoy every second of it. Get lost, make mistakes and have fun!!!!

      xo!

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  9. So so so so brilliant. Your writing, this post, the way you've dealt with everything this past year. The video was such a good idea! Can't wait to read on for the next chapter!

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    1. Thank you Kayta! It's been a colorful year but I made the best of it. Thank you so much for following me on my adventures and your shout outs to me on Twitter.

      You're so lovely. Thank you.

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  10. AnonymousMay 16, 2012

    Ella, this is it! WOW! I am glad you are also moving at this time. Starting fresh. I am so proud of you! You have touched so many people through your stories, I felt like crying watching your video. I can't remember at the moment how I found your blog many months ago, but I'm thankful to have found ya' and happy that we got to share a few emails too. Good luck with your new journey - I am glad that you will continue blogging! (I've sorta' given up on mine, since I have to focus more on other things at the moment.. but I really appreciate all of your lovely comment on my blog!). Bisous

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    1. Awww D, Thank you! From one NY gal to another. : )

      So this wraps up the break up diary, but I will continue because I have much more to share...if you can believe it. I'm so glad we found each other, I think it was thanks to Garlic Keith that this happened..and I'm grateful for it.

      It warms my heart that I have touched you all. I couldn't even imagine stopping at this point. I love entertaining you all! It's my little joy. : )

      Do you think you'll be coming to Paris this summer?

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    2. AnonymousMay 20, 2012

      That's right, I found you via Taste of Garlic !!!

      I'm glad that you will continue blogging (writing). I am so happy that I can keep reading your blog and interacting with you. It's such a joy, for me and obviously many others. I love that you've even met some of your readers!

      I keep getting stuck with allergies and whatnot (it's getting outrageous), so I keep having to postpone Paris. And every other fun plan. Yes, I plan to be there before the Matisse show and the Triennale ends! *Crossing fingers that allergy problems go away* (never have been this sick for so long in my life.. I guess my body misses the NYC fumes ;P)

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  11. Simply put: perfect! You took what would have been a complete tragedy in the lives of most girls, and flipped it around and turned it into one of the most amazing experiences of your life. Most girls would have been on the first flight back to JFK, but you viewed it as an opportunity to start over - and share it with the world - with all the girls who have been, and will be, in your Parisian ballet flats one of these days. You go girl! I am honored to have been able to watch you sparkle. Cheers to the NEXT 365 days, which will be even more memorable! *clink*

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    1. A lot of my girlfriends in NYC wondered why I didn't just come home, but it was so not going to happen. I didn't move to Paris for MF...he just happened to get in the way.

      Thank you, Cara, thank you for all of your support this year with your comments, tweets, and featuring me on your fabulous blog! I'm so glad we found each other in the "sphere". Drinks when I'm back in NYC for my consulate appt. Deal?

      xoxox!!

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  12. Happy Blogging Birthday!

    You made it! That video is very cool - did you film that on Sebastien's moto? And the dedications were sweet - love how Antoine got a mention... and even MF, you're too kind.

    Here's to the next 365 days, hope they're even better!

    Just one little thing, my blog address has changed:
    www.twentysomethinginparis.blogspot.com - not promowhoring but just so you know! :)

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    1. Thank you Victoria!!!! I feel like it's been my wedding week! I feel so special...thanks to you ALL! :*)

      Yes, I'm on Seb's Vespa. I make a cameo in one of the scenes where you can see me filming. ; )

      Also, thanks for the heads up on your new blog address...I already updated my blog roll.
      : )

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  13. Hip hip hooray!!! Congratulations on day 365! I LOVE your video - it's so creative and so "ella coquine". Yes, that term has now entered the lexicon of the English language to describe something "over-the-top wonderful".

    By acknowledging all that you've learned from your experiences with MF, you really and truly have moved on to the next stage. I wish you well!

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    1. Woo hoo! MK!!! Merci!!!!

      Lol! Yes the video is so over-the-top Coquine style!

      You know, it was so impromptu. Seb and I were coming home from a Sunday stroll on the Vespa, and I was wondering what would it be like if I filmed it. It was an extremely rare occasion that we didn't get stuck at a red light light or traffic, and it was a continuous five minutes on the bike without stopping, so we thought it would be a fun end to the break-up diary.

      Thank you for everything this year, your support, your comments, your tweets...everything! You're amazing MK! I look forward to our second year of blogging! xo!

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  14. CONGRATS!! onward and upward....you go girl!

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    1. Onward and upward, indeed! Thank you Debbie!!!!! xo!

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  15. Paris looks so different from a Vespa. I'm jealous!

    Congratulations on finding some new walls for some new memories. It's been fun following your adventures and reminded me of all the losers and connards I put up with and makes me appreciate the guy I am with now.

    Paris isn't that big, and MF has probably caught a glimpse of you sliding past on Seb's bike which probably makes his head squirm because he didn't think you would still be in Paris without him. Tell him merci from me too.

    xoxo

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    1. I used to be terrified of the Vespa! I used to cling on so tight to Seb, but now I'm at ease and love seeing Paris breeze by! In the winter/rain...not so fun. It's definitely a spring/summer thing.

      Thank you for everything this year Miss Emily in Exile. Your comments never ceased to entertain me and I look forward to staying in touch this year through both of our blogs. : )

      Oh god, and I'm sure MF has seen me on the bike, and made all sorts of comments on what a bitch I am. Whatever.

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  16. Congratulations Ella! You made it!!!

    I can't wait to read more adventures to come from my favorite expat blogger!

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    1. Thanks Rachel! And thank you for all of your comments this year!

      :*)

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  17. Aww I love the video! ! And yes I too got a little teary eyed. Congratulations on day 365!!! I have learned so much from you since I discovered your blog a few months back and I thank you for sharing your experiences with us. Can't wait to read about all your new adventures. XOXO

    And yes!!! I loved my photo!!

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    1. Oh good!!! I'm so glad you loved it! It was a pleasure sending it to you! : )

      You've learned from me? Wow, now THAT makes me teary eyed. It's comments like this that just make every post so worth writing. Thank you so much, Elsa. : )

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  18. Ahhh! Congrats and Happy 365! You have come so far in this last year and I am so happy to have been there reading it with you. You are an inspiration to some many of us once heartbroken girls. I love that you could have easily gotten on a plane and gotten the hell out of there and flown back to NYC, but not you, you turned it into such a positive experience! Can't wait for 365 more days and adventures!

    xo

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    1. Lovely Lauren!! Thank you!!!!

      Thank you for your e-mails and comments this year! I'm so glad that we found each other!! I remember when you e-mailed me back in October, I was so touched that you reached out to me. It meant so much to me that I was reaching out to fabulous women all the way in California! Thank you again, Lauren.

      If I'm ever in the bay area we must have a drinks and crafts nerdathon!

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    1. Wow, you know how to comment? And snap photos?!? AND just started cooking?? I'm impressed. Ladies...he's single. #justsayin

      You've come a long way. : P !!

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  20. That video is lovely and such a pick-me-up! Made me smile :) Congrats on getting to this day and look forward to "Season 2"!

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    1. Thank you so much Edna! I'm glad that it made you smile because it seems to be bringing down the house for everyone else!

      Thank you so much for the comments you have left, I look forward to meeting you next month. I've heard such wonderful and interesting things about you. : )

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  21. AnonymousMay 16, 2012

    Success really is the best revenge! Here's to your happy beginning.

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  22. Yeah, I finally got to see it!
    ELLA! I'm all teary now and full of joy for you!
    Thank you for these 365 days, it's been wonderful sharing your journey with you.
    I anxiously await Season 2.
    Gros bisous de Provence xx

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    1. Oh good! I was wondering what was up. I'm glad you got to see the season finale of TFTCDB...yeah, that doesn't work...nothing is as cool as The LPV. I'll leave the blogcronyms to you!

      Thanks for all of your support this year, Sara Louise. I look forward to meeting you one of these days!

      xo!

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  23. AnonymousMay 17, 2012

    Congrats Ella Coquine on a fabulous and successful year! Here's to another year and many more funny stories! With much love and admiration, -Dr. Becky- :)

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    1. Aww, Dr. B bomb! Thank you!!!! ...and congrats on your new niece. : )

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  24. Jee I'm gonna miss this. #tear

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  25. Félicitations - looking forward to reading the next chapters of the great novel "La vie d`une Coquine à Paris"

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    1. Thank you! I love the title by the way! May have to use that some day. ; )

      Thanks for commenting!

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  26. Double BRAVO!!!
    but how could you whiz by patisserie Cyril Lignac in the 1st few (adorable) shots(with the red awning on sur le coin) without stopping in for an eclair is what I wanna know..?
    Emily sent me

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  27. PB you skipped right to the end of the book! You missed out on all the drama.

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  28. A Hollywood ending for real, how fantastic!

    I'm coming to the party a bit late, having just started to read you a few days ago, and like I do with any good book I couldn't put you down.
    I've read each and every one of your posts plus everybody's comments until my eyes could not take it anymore, and I don't regret a minute or the hours of sleep I gave up to get here. This year of your life has been an amazing adventure to follow, with all its ups and downs...this is life.

    I'm still behind a few months but I needed to comment and congratulate you for having turned a pretty ugly situation into an opportunity to grow and change your life around.
    You have inspired me, and although I'm a couple of decades older than you, I've learned a lot through your experience.

    Nothing is a coincidence...I was meant to find your blog.

    I can't wait to read the rest and get to the present.
    That Vespa ride is very meaningful...you are free at last!
    So a.m.a.z.i.n.g.!

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  29. I never really read blogs before this, but this blog has helped to prepare me for my move to Paris as well as face done things with ex. I know this isn't a recent post but it captures where I am right now in life and for that help I thank you a ton

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