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Day 350: Chaud for Firemen!


What a long weekend I've had! Oh là là! It's not often that I cut myself off from the blogosphere for more than two days, but this weekend, I would not have been able to juggle both of my lives. It just wouldn't have been possible. For someone who stays in on the weekends, I was burning the candle (no pun intended) from both ends, and now it's Monday morning and I feel heavy, hungry for another day of sleep. Damn, I must be getting old. 

On Friday night, I packed my bags and moved in with Ginger and Vinny, out at their mom's house in Queens for the weekend. With the calm after their mother's passing starting to settle in, I stayed with them to keep some movement and laughter in the house. Every one could use a sassy little Italian girl to keep things fun and light. We're just built that way. Along with me, Ginger's friends from high school whom I haven't seen since my J.Lo velour jumpsuit, pin straight blow-outs and hoop earring days, kept themselves available for back-to-back girl's night on both Friday and Saturday. It was interesting to see the direction all of our lives have gone in over the course of ten years.

To make it an official "Ladie's Weekend", we went to the launch party of the 2013 New York City Firefighter Calendar that my cousin is posing in. Yes, I have a cousin posing in the hunky calendar. I guess I'm not the only coquine in the family! The party consisted of cheap drinks, firemen being passed around like hors d'oeuvres, greasy food, jukebox rock and a portion of the evening's proceeds going to the Jacobi Medical Center Burn Unit. That's all I needed, another excuse for me to order more drinks. I vaguely remember myself shouting, "It's for charity!" as I ordered another glass of wine.

While I'm not much of a beefcake lover, I couldn't resist the kitch of the night, and within minutes at the tavern, I turned into a middle aged house wife having a ladies night out at Chippendale's circa 1985. Had the evening's event been held in Queens, I would have fully committed to the role and rocked my spandex capri pants, off the shoulder sweater, vintage Versace zebra print mules and top the look off with my gold bamboo heart "I Love You" earrings, but since we were going to the Firehouse Tavern in the affluent Upper West Side, I played it safe with a red and white striped boat neck top, a navy blue skirt and ballet flats. France representin'.

Not realizing that there is an entire subculture of women who not only love New York City Firemen, but crave them, posed a bit of a challenge in getting any of them to sign my calender. I had to get aggressive, and leave it to the little Italian girl to get things done around here. In order to get a little face time with the boys, I had to instill a little fear by chasing them down, and when necessary, hiding behind drink menus that between you and me, wasn't much of a useful disguise, and once I was able to capture them and had them in my grip, I ordered them to introduce themselves and sign the calendars at our table of ladies in waiting. Always send in an Italian to get things done.

During a lull in the evening, I had a moment to chat with my cousin who needed a break from his screaming fans (really) and as he was telling me about his news bit on Fox that had aired that morning, we were interrupted by a girl whom he had been taking to earlier in the evening. She looked very unhappy with him. "So you were just tawkin' to me, and now yaw with her?" she said in her thick burrow accent, staring back at him with wide eyes that were demanding an explanation from someone she had met twenty minutes earlier. Her entitlement of my cousin's attention was impressive, I was in shock. I forget that women like this really do exist, and aren't just manufactured for the show "Tough Love". Some women take their fantasy of being rescued very seriously, and to her I was getting in the way of her dreams.

Before getting myself into an unnecessary bar brawl with his admirer, we relieved this woman of her fear and filled her in on our relationship. "We're cousins," we said in unison. "Don't worry, I was just leaving." I assured her with a smile that implied that I was not looking for trouble and that she could have my cousin back, who not surprisingly wasn't terribly interested anymore. "That's a new one," she said while shaking her head in disbelief, signaling to her friends that it wasn't going to work out. You think? Clearly she was drunk but any shot she had with my cousin who is very cute, very single and may have been interested before, was long gone because she was acting just crazy. This is also coming from me, the girl who spent the entire evening stalking fireman by tucking and rolling on them, so I'm hardly one to judge. After she stormed off and a new round a women surrounded my cousin, I excused myself when the hunky Mr. November walked by. I scurried after him like Sofia Petrillo with my pen waving in the air.

I know what you must be thinking, what would Séb think of my hot tamale night? Well, funny you should ask, he was kept up to date with all of my shenanigans, thanks to Jann who recently befriended him on Facebook, he was tagged in every photo that was uploaded. Whether I was feeling the bicep of Mr. March, Séb was tagged, or biting my finger while looking at Mr. January, Séb was tagged or fully wrapped around the tree trunk of man that was Mr. September, Séb, still tagged. I woke up the next morning with likes and comments from him, his entire family and friends in France who saw these embarrassing drunk photos of me looking like a cat in heat with the NYFD.

To give you an idea, here's a taste of the "hotsie-totsies" that went on Saturday night. For best results, play this with the viewing.



...and my personal favorite 

C'est chaud!!

While I don't see myself relocating back to New York and settling down with one of New York City's heroes, I enjoyed an evening of harmless and playful fun with these guys who were such troopers, handling their satirical new roles as topless stud muffins with irony and humor. It was a perfect way to spend my last weekend in New York, with old friends, family and smokin' hot firemen. Tssss (read: burn sound)....!

22 comments:

  1. Ahahaha I love the "slide down my pole" bit, saucy! I'm not a beefcake girl myself either but good on you for letting your hair down and getting into the spirit of things :D

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    1. I was shocked when I read that. It's so suggestive!!! I can't help but think of me sliding down his pole...ahhhh!!! I'm blushing right now.

      It was a fun Kool and the Gang Ladie's Night. We all need that once in a while. I can't wait to have one with you!!

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  2. PAHAHA I love what they wrote on their pictures... which one is your cousin??? Like Gwan, I'm not usually a 'beefcake' girl either but I'm sure they don't make French firemen like that/not-accepted-in-French-culture-for-firemen-to-make-calendars. The title of this post made me think back to one of your earlier posts about a certain ride to 'des chiffres et des lettres' hmmm...?

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    1. My cousin was not featured...although he wouldn't mind, I didn't think it would be fair. I'll give you a hint, he is the cutest one in the calendar. : )

      It was a good time, the whole night was so playful and I had fun playing a horny housewife. : )I'm pretty sure I shimmied once or twice.

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  3. AnonymousMay 01, 2012

    Ella! Ginger checking in.....Thank you for making the night (and the weekend) so much fun. Once again, I was there and knew how this story went but I was still on the edge of my seat reading the blog. Not only are you a great party-starter, you're a beautiful writer and I am a very proud cousin! XOXO

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    1. Aww, Ginger! No problem! We had so much fun! It was the perfect weekend to let loose and enjoy spring in NYC.

      Thank you so much for your comment! I'm glad that I was able to get the party started, and not get banned by the NYFD for stalking these poor men like a lioness in the wildness. Roar...(read: lion sound).

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  4. I am PISSING. And, when are we hanging out? :)

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    1. I figured you'd get a kick out of this, since you are a New Yorker yourself. I'll be around in two weeks!!! I'd love to meet you. Something tells me we'd get into some bubbly trouble!

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    2. Yes! For realz. Shoot me an email whenever you get a chance and we will set up a *sparkling* girl date!!

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  5. Ella, since you know that I love your writing, I'm sure that you'll forgive me for saying that I kept thinking "All these words and no photos!" the entire time that I was reading this post. At least, I thought that until I scrolled down and saw the cover of the calendar! Even for a non-beefcake woman like myself, the pictures were the icing on the cake.

    Glad that you enjoyed yourself and that Seb and his family have a sense of humor. Smokin' hot. Tssss!

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    1. I'm glad that I was able to satisfy your hunger of topless firefighters with real, live photos. How fun are they?

      It was a tongue-in-cheek night...at least it was for me. These guys really do have die hard fans! I was blown away! Good for them...they deserve it!!! These guys work hard!

      ...yes and thank goodness Seb and his family have a great sense of humor. It could have been easily misconstrued! I know MF wouldn't have been so entertained. Pffff.

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  6. Ohh la la and Tssss is all I have to say! ;)

    xo

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    1. It was a smokin' hot night...I needed to be hosed down..it was burnin' up in there.

      Okayyyyy, now I'm officially done with my corny entendres. You know I was all about it that night. How could I not? : )

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  7. You have no choice. You will have to go to a Firemen Ball in Paris and post pictures so we can compare.

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    1. I have been meaning to go every year but something always comes up!! I even bought a raffle on the street from one of the pompiers to push myself to go but I just wasn't in the spirit last year. This year, we have a wedding out in Bretagne, so I can't go...yet again!

      You go and tell me how it is!!! Please!!!

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  8. Ummmm....yes. Yes x 1,000. LOVE the line about the pole - how hot is that?!

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    1. I was blushing when I read what he wrote! O.M.G!!!! he he he.

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  9. The fireman episode is one of my favorite SATC episodes. I love that you experienced something like this in real life. Kudos and great photos :)

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  10. AnonymousMay 16, 2012

    Love it!!!

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  11. I won't lie, I enjoyed this post. I enjoy a little beefcake every now and then. What's a young, single girl to do?
    You crack me up! I will add that I also appreciated the blush-worth pole-sliding comment!

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  12. Is there a prerequisite that firemen been good looking? It is VERY rare to find an unattractive fireman... hmmmm

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  13. OMG the bodies on these men! How do they manage to have the time to put out fires and work those muscles to look like this? Chaud indeed and I'm not into beefcake types either, but wow!
    I think I just had another hot flash...damn meno LOL
    And chapeau to all of them for their courage and dedication!

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