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Day 337: Whine.

 Illustration by Garance Doré

Oh no, it's back. Not this. I thought we were passed this.

Sigh. I guess not.

My Felicity Season 4* reoccurring dream is back. There I am, trapped in an episode wearing an Anthropologie sweater and drinking lattes, thinking that I fit in with Ben, Noel, "Feliss" and the gang but no one knows who I am, no matter how hard I try to chime in with their weird whispering banter, I get blank stares from the cast. There's no director, there are no lines, but I'm there and I can't leave. I'm imprisoned on a WB set in the 90s and it's awful. This dream, that I've had sporadically throughout my twenties (and apparently now my thirties) usually spears its head when I am uneasy with something in my life. While there are several things that I'm antsy about, there's one thing that I have been suspicious about for quite some time now that I simply cannot ignore. Allow me to explain...

So I know they say that once you enter your thirties your metabolism changes, and you'll never be as thin as you were in your early twenties. Okay, I accept. Since I don't have a sweet tooth, I don't have late night cravings, I eat breakfast, I eat small meals, and I work out vigorously, why was I unable to get my ass into a piece of clothing yesterday? Was it my skinny jeans that I was trying to squeeze into? No. My circa 2000 Frankie B corduroy hiphuggers? No. An Hervé Leger tubeskirt? Let's get real, I know better than to try to get this bad boy on after living in France for three years. So what was it that I couldn't get my larger-than-life ass and mashed potato thighs into? It was my librarian chic knee-length silk pleated skirt. The once flowing silk lining wouldn't get past my hips and the zipper bit me as I tried to slide it over my new doughy love handles. I couldn't believe it.

While I don't gorge on pain au chocolat or have midnight cupcakes and macarons cravings, I am still consuming copious amounts of sugar, only my sugar is coming from another place. A place I don't want to admit is adding to my weight gain, but if there's one place where I can be brutally honest, it's here. What's causing this "expansion" is wine. There I said it. I've been in denial about this for sometime but it's the only explanation! I just can't drink it the way I used because my metabolism is catching up with me, and the alcohol is not breaking down like it used to. I have been known to polish off a bottle of white in one night and if each glass has 120 calories multiply that times five, voilà, there's my weight gain. I knew this day was going to come where I'd have to cut back on one thing in my life, I just didn't think it was going to be my precious, delicious, always there for me wine. Mince!

Starting today, I'll have to curb my little joy and will restrict my wine consummation to the annoying recommended "5 units per week" which means I've already consumed my units for this week...and perhaps next. Let's see what happens. While I'm realistic with my goals and know that I will not be squeezing into my hoochie mama low rise jeans that have a front zipper the length of my pinkie nail (why was this in style?), there's no reason in hell that a 30 year old woman who works out everyday cannot fit into a skirt that my grandmother used to wear. Come on.

Wish me luck. 

I'm so not excited about this... 

How about you ladies? Is there anything that you have had to cut out or watch as your twenties coast by? Or is this just me?!

*Oh and why season 4? Because Julie wasn't there and Megan wasn't goth anymore. 

31 comments:

  1. I turn 26 next week and I was heading towards a size 14 in jeans - I think I'm well and truly back in my size 16s.

    Don't give up though - My friend turned 50 two years ago she's recently got back into a size 12. (UK Size btw)

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    1. Hi Hannah! I just have to switch out the wine for water. How boring! I'll hang in there though. Thanks for your note! : )

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  2. Unfortunately, I'm in the same boat. I exercise and my eating habits are pretty healthy. Heck, I don't even like most desserts. But darn you wine. I want you with every dinner. And that's where the weight gain comes in. I don't even have much shame when it comes to polishing off a whole bottle. Yikes! At 30, I too have to come to realization that that is just too many calories. And probably not the best thing for my liver.

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    1. Exactly. You sound like me! Eat healthy, workout, no sweet tooth but love the vino. My brother told me that our bodies need to burn off the alcohol before it gets to the fat, so imagine how much fat we'd burn sans alcohol. Double.

      It's still annoying...

      Thanks for commenting! : )

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  3. I am there, so there. Definitely looking forward to curbing my consumption after this weekend. Which is what I said last weekend only I think I might really need it this time. Best of luck in this endeavor.

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    1. Thanks, HJ!

      It won't be easy but at least I'm not saying that I'm cutting it out forever because that would just not be possible. A glass of wine is one of life's joys! Too bad my thighs think so too. :)

      Good luck to you as well!

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  4. Damn you! I am having the same problem and I had a little voice that I ignored telling me that the "empty calories" I was drinking were the cause. I don't have a sweet tooth either, so I thought I was doing pretty good. I thought the metabolism thing in your thirties only counted for food. I was in denial.

    Now that I've read it I can't ignore it anymore. It's right there in the front of my brain. It shouldn't be as hard in the spring/summer as it would be in the fall to cut back. I'm going to try.

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    1. Oh yes, I've done the "empty calories" denial, thinking that I was fine. Now here I am...20 pounds later..and I know the weight isn't coming from steamed veggie dinners and egg white spinach omelets! It really is the wine.

      How sad. Really..:(

      Hang in there! At least we all have each other!

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  5. GOD I know exactly how you feel. I just cut out salt and sugar completely from my diet after finding I could no longer zip my "fat" shorts from last summer. I know I need to cool it with the wine too but after a hellish few days at work I'm finding it more difficult than anticipated. Good luck to you!!

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    1. Ahhhh!! me too!! My fat dress, my "shmata" makes me look bootylicious because it's so snug now!

      There's just something comforting about snuggling up on the couch with shit t.v and a glass (half bottle) of red. It's a hard habit to kick!

      I think we need a Skinny Girl night. ; )

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  6. Well, I found 35 to be my magical metabolistic turning point, but I hear your. I also fear that its just one downward slide from here and so at one point, I have to accept a larger size and an enjoyable lifestyle or living like a monk to keep looking like a model(relatively speaking, of course...). Its a grim thought. BUT I wanted to share my one useful tip for cutting back on wine- buy some nice wine glasses that are small, like half a serving of wine when full. I swear this works. I try to resist the siren call of that bottle, but then I give in and pour myself a glass (except really only a half glass). I feel a bit guilty, slowly feel less guilty, forget about guilt, and finish teh glass. Then I try to resist pouring myself a second glass because I'm trying to get off the wine, right? I resist for a while then finally go in the kitchen and pour a second glass. Oh, I'm terrible! I'll make it a small glass, I'll sip it, I'll nurse it all night! I drink it and maybe go for a third (shame on me!) but in fact, I've only drank a glass and a half of wine, which is a huge improvement over my previous evenings.

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    1. Exactly! It's like do you stay in, skip out on events to stay thin or just live life with a softer figure? I always wonder how celebs do it. They are always out and about at parties and dinners. How do they hold back on eating and drinking? I know I couldn't do it. I'd always be on the cover of Star when they do their "cellulite scandal" pieces!

      That's a good tip. Thanks! It's like eating on smaller plates for portion control. At the moment, my wine glasses are huge! Those big bubble glasses, you know? So perhaps I should look into minnies. : )

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  7. Hey Ella - your story is very common, pas de souci ma bichette! I have cut out wine a lot -- even in NY I did the whole vodka+diet coke thing when I was on a crazy diet (something I don't often do). Anyway, I'd stick to Crémants and/or dry whites when you know you're going to drink a lot. I had a gf over last weekend and we drank 3 bottles- but I didn't feel as fat afterwards! I am in my 20s but I have a very slow metabolism (and I eat a lot) so I feel most comfortable boozing on days I've done a lot of exercise. If you are going to drink (and/or eat) more, you have to burn more. Ugh! Pas facile mais c'est comme ça ...! Now if I would only take my own advice..!

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    1. Thanks D! I've thought about the vodka alternative but I don't drink liquor, maybe once in a blue but not often. I get drunk after one cocktail. I like my wine buzz, not being drunk, you know?

      Whites do have less calories than reds but after the second drink, they taste like water and I keep going, so it amounts to the same! : )

      Ah, the struggles of being an aging wino...boo hoo! And living in France certainly does not help!

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  8. I didn't find that my metabolism slowed down at a certain age, but after I had my two children, my body shape changed significantly. Before, I had an hourglass figure, with hips. After pregnancies, my hips disappeared and my waist got bigger. So now I look like a funnel.

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    1. The same thing happened to my mom. She's now thicker in the waist. Of course she likes to remind us of how tiny her waist was before she had us...lol.

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  9. Well Ella,
    I think it was KAte Moss who says, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, I wouldn't know because its been awhile since I was skinny.. I am 46.. and I NEVER eat anthing bready, anything potatoey, anything cakie cookies, beer. I try to eat small portions

    my big night is Saturday and I drink wine and eat whatever I want
    hovering around a size 8, but I am keeping all my size 4 pants just in case someday, once a week I try a pair on, a girl can dream right?

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    1. How funny! I think of that Kate Moss quote more than I should! I find her so creepy, but this quote works for me. It stops me from going for that last bite of cheese. I think she gets all 500 of her daily calories from booze.

      My cheat day is Sunday, but its seems like wine day is everyday for me! We deserve our cheat days!! And keep those size 4s! I have my little itty bitties from my LA days and I marvel at how I ever got into them...

      Isn't it interesting how we don't notice our body shape is changing?

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  10. Oh wine, why are you so delicious?! After reading this I'm pretty sure that is what led to my recent spike in weight. Damnit! I think I've always rationalized that one glass of wine at night throughout the week as okay since afterall it was red wine and isn't that supposed to be good for your heart or something? Apparently my thighs like it more:(
    Good luck and keep us posted!

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    1. Oh you're good! Only one glass? I wish I could control it to just one! One always leads to three chez moi!

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  11. Noooo!! Never!!! Ella, what is life without limitless amounts of wine?!?!?

    5 units of wine a week? Is that even legal in France? :-)

    I'm all for a regular glass (read:bottle) of wine any day of the week so I'm probably not the best person to comment on this but of course I had to add in my two cents.

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    1. Life with limitless amounts of wine is not fitting into anything I own! I'm too broke to go shopping, so I have to work with what I have and cut back.

      Not to worry, I'm not eliminating just cutting back. : )

      We'll see...talk to me in a week.... ; )

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  12. I have been feeling the same way lately and finally just realized it was the wine too. My beautiful wine. Unfortunately, I'm in the same boat as you in needing to drink less. Dumb metabolism. ;)

    xo

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    1. It's unfortunate but so true. Wine has tons of cals. We're better off with vodka sodas but I don't really drink vodka and something about drinking hard liquor alone at home makes me feel like Miss Hannigan. You know what I mean?

      How's the move going? : )

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  13. Oh girl...I FEEL YA!!! This is what has helped me: white wine spritzers. Do I feel like I'm 68 years old eating dinner at 5 pm in Boca Raton? Yes. Does it slow me down from polishing off a bottle each night? Absolutely. Adding lemon lime seltzer to my vino helps and also tastes delish. I also drink a giant wine glass filled with lemon water in between each drink.

    Also, this only happens Monday-Wednesday. Thursday-Sunday it's ON.

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    1. Yes, the water in between really does help! Whenever I have the discipline to do that, I drink less, and wake up less groggy. Water works wonders. Whoa, say that three times fast!

      I'll try your "boca" trick! Sounds refreshing...perfect for summer! : )

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  14. Wow. This post made me feel better about drinking 1+ glasses of wine every night although it's a constant battle in our house too. Just so tempting and makes a night better! Aside from the wine issue (which I'm pretty sure you and I have chatted about before), I love this post for two other reasons. Felicity Season 4 (I'm sure you saw that one coming) as I would VHS tape each episode and watch them with my mom and secondly because I also really want to know WHAT we were thinking with these hip hugger pants with a front zipper the size of my pinky! And it's not like I was wearing longer shirts then either. They weren't belly shirts, but just barely skimmed the top of the hip hugger pants. Mortifying.

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    1. LOL. I love the 1"+"! The night is just more lovely with a glass of wine.

      You're the only person who commented on my creepy Felicity reference. Felicity is a big part of my life. Us frizzy haired girls stick to together! I love Keri Russell! She and Scott Speedman used to come to the Bakery I worked at in LA and I'd be like, omg, Felicity and Ben are still together! I felt like an extra in their secret spin-off show. Ah, it's the little things.

      Oh geez, those pants of the early 2000s! Yes, we totes talked about this at Charlot. It's like, what's the point of the zipper?!

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    2. I've actually given up on zippers entirely. I have a pair of black pants from both Zara and Uniqlo that look like real pants but without a zipper. Total appropriate fat pants. Granted (and thankfully) they aren't hip huggers but now when I put on a pair of pants with a zipper I just have a hard time wearing them. And as for Felicity, the original soundtrack still plays on my ipod ALL THE TIME. I was obsessed with that show and was a huge part of my life. Clearly.

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    3. Do you own pajama jeans?!!? I'm always tempted to just buy a pair when I'm at Rite Aid.

      So where you a Ben or a Noel girl?

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    4. no. Not PJ jeans from rite-aid. I won't go that low... and i adored both. I was always team felicity so when she liked and was with noel, so did i... and same with ben. He made an appearance on Greys Anatomy for awhile (yes, another great one I watch each week) and I loved seeing him again. Remember when he dated hannah (aka Jennifer Garner!! they were married in real life!) x

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