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Day 327: It All Depends...

Postcard from my mom's backyard.

I've always found that tragedy has a way of bringing on comedic moments, giving our heavy hearts a much needed break and allowing us a little comic relief. This reminds me of when my cousins were put in charge of designing the program at Aunt Maria's funeral, and put Sade quotes in bouncy bubble letters on each page. They truly thought that quotes from "Lover's Rock" and "Love Deluxe" was an appropriate filler between old photos of my aunt and passages from the bible. My grandfather, who lost the passage that he was supposed to read at church, read the program back to us, Sade quotes and  directions to the cemetery included. I had streams of tears from holding back my laughter, dripping down my face as Carmella, who was sitting in the pew behind me mumbling under her breath, "He's reading the Sade quotes, I can't believe he's reading the Sade quotes. I'm going to kill Vinny for putting them in there. Who puts Sade quotes in a program for a funeral." We all sat there in silence as my grandfather went through all six pages - front and back - of the program.


Before heading back to the hospital yesterday, my mother surprised me with goodies that she picked up from Rite Aid for me. You know you're an adult when being treated to a bag full of toiletries makes your day. Laid out on my bed, I found Optic White toothpaste, a three pack of Glide dental floss, a new loofah, cucumber body wash, fancy green apple face scrub, this month's Vogue and Depends...in designer colors. I swear to God, there always has to be something in my family. There I was standing my bedroom with my boyfriend by my side, holding an issue of Vogue in one hand and a package of adult diapers in the other. I couldn't even bank on the fact that Séb didn't understand what their purpose was because the text on the purple package was in both English and French. 

"Why are there Depends on my bed?" I asked my mother, completely mortified that my boyfriend now thinks that I have major bladder problems, considering the fact that we were just at the doctor's office in Paris for a urinary tract infection. "Oh, well I read last week's post and you were complaining about having soiled "unmentionables", so I figured these would come in handy!" she said, clearly proud of herself that she provided a clever solution to a problem that I had over five years ago. "These ones have pink and purple flowers on them too!" Yes, how dainty. 

I opened the package and just lost myself in the moment. Perhaps it was my exhaustion, or my mother's little face smiling back at me as I pulled out the larger-than-life, pink elastic paper panties, or Séb's gasp when he saw me holding them, but I couldn't hold back my laughter. The three of us stood in my mother's bedroom cracking up like children. Was it terribly funny? Not really, but this is exactly what I needed to break the tension of this harrowing weekend.

Séb and I are heading to the hospital now and then going straight to my grandparents for Easter dinner because the belief in my family is that we'll all go into "starvation mode" if we skip a holiday dinner, especially a religious one. I hope you all are having a lovely Easter and I thank you for your warm comments, e-mails and messages.

8 comments:

  1. Ella, so glad you were able to smile through your recent distress. Still thinking of you and your family and I hope all is well. And I can see where you get your sense of humor. Depends from your Mom, classic! Love it.

    p.s. Whenever I'm feeling down, 90's jams I would always hear on KTU and z100 always seem to lift my spirits. I'm not sure if it's all the memories that flood my mind, granted I was in elementary school so I wasn't out clubbing and getting wild with my girls but they still make me happy.

    Below are some of my favorites that will hopefully help keep that smile on your face.

    I'm Gonna Get You - Bizaare
    Gypsy Woman - Crystal Waters
    The Bomb (These Sounds Fall Into My Mind) -Kenny Dope
    Hey Mr. D.J. - Zhane
    This Is Your Night - Amber
    Sweet Dreams - La Bouche

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    Replies
    1. Aww, Sue!! Thank you for this playlist!! These songs are great and totally KTU-approved. Seb just heard my mom's TKA Greatest Hits in the car and was absolutely horrified. He wasn't really feeling "Maria"...wonder why. I've got to bring some good Free Style back to Paris with me...it's just got to be done.

      Thanks for putting a smile on my face. I mean when you drop the "La Bouche" bomb, how could I not smile?

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  2. Designer Depends... love it!;) You're mom's a hoot!;)

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    Replies
    1. She was dead serious. She keeps asking me to "Try them out" which means take a piss in my pants.

      Only my mom..I swear..

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  3. What a refreshing outlook you have. Very positive views in a time like this. Sending love and thinking about you and your loved ones. I love the Sade moment. What a unique and harmonious family.

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    Replies
    1. Aww, thanks Madame Makeup-ista. It's a hard time as this was completely unexpected but we're all there for Ginger and Vinny during this very sad moment.

      And yes, the Sade quotes were priceless..."Lover's Rock"..seriously?

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  4. I love a good toiletry bag from an American drugstore! What a hilarious moment! If anyone can laugh something like that off - it's you!!! When do I get to meet your mom? She cracks me up.

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