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Day 273: February Musings.

The key to my...

February has always been a bit of an emotional time of year for me. Maybe it's the cold weather that forces me to reflect because I'm not distracted with bike rides, sunshine, Marc by Marc Jacobs sun dresses and margaritas. Or maybe some major turning points in my life have happened during the month of February...

For example, the 7th grade Valentine's Day dance when my intense crush Zach went with "the (debatably) prettiest girl in school". This was a hard time for me. Seeing them dance in the auditorium as Kitty and I looked on in our Contempo Casuals plaid miniskirts and waffle tops was hardship that I thought I'd never had to revisit again in my life. And don't even get me started on the fact that someone (no names Danielle Lisa Vincenzi) thought it was a good idea to publish this image of them dancing in our yearbook; "Going Places" which is now burned into my memory...for eternity. 

I knew how Jennifer Aniston felt way before she even did. Seeing them gloating in the yearbook made me finally realize that I had to let go of the life Zach and I had built together in my head and accept that we were never going "to be". I wasn't able to listen to Mariah Carey's "Can't Let Go" until at least the 9th grade, and even then, it brought up painful and wistful "what-ifs".

Several Februarys ago was also the first time that I had ever visited Paris and fell in love with this city and decided that I wanted to make my life here. And more recently, it was last February that the man that I thought I was going to share my life with decided "not so much" and I was left wandering these very streets that I fell in love with, carrying all of my belongings...alone.

 ...heart.

I know that whatever happens, nothing is 100% but my love for my adopted city is as consistent as February. People come, people go and merde happens...but me and Paris? We're in it for the long haul.

*An extra special thank you to Mlle. May who came with me to shoot this photo on this icy, cold day in Paris. Je t'adore. xo.

11 comments:

  1. avec plaisir! Thank you for today too xx

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  2. Here's hoping that February 2012 will be wonderful - it looks as if it's already off to a promising start!

    When you put the lock on the bridge, did people wonder if Mlle May was your partner? I ask because my daughter and I caused a bit of a commotion when we put a lock on the bridge for my sister and her husband when they renewed their wedding vows last year. People had their eyes glued on us to see what would happen after my daughter made a big deal about throwing the key in the Seine. Nothing...just me snapping some photos.

    Isn't it great to know that you'll always have Paris! ;)

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    1. No one thought that May and I were locking our love on the bridge for a few reasons. It was ice cold yesterday so no one was there, I went to pont Solferino (by musee d'orsay) and May waited with my bags on the benches, so it appeared that I was by myself.

      Although that would have made a more colorful blog post if that in fact did happen! May? Are you reading? If we ever put locks on the bridge again, will you please cradle me while locking our love? Thx.

      I wear the key around my neck (outfit permitting) so no matter where I am, I have some Paris with me(I'm so cheesy).

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    2. haha, yes next time! it has to be more romantic though, like in the spring.

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  3. Yes! Here's to a wonderful year and all the Februarys in the future to come! You are such inspiration to so many of us (especially me) that I wish you nothing but happy months ahead! xo

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    1. Thanks Miss L!!! So kind of you.

      So I'm going to make one of the recipes on your blog tonight for Seb!

      I'll take photos if it comes out pretty! :)

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  4. Paris gets under your skin, nothing can be done about it...

    The hardest part of going back home will be the fact that I won't be able to hop on a Thalys and be in Paris in less than three hours jetlag free... but I'll always come back... and one day, I'll be there for the long haul:) I don't know if you saw my answer to your answer/question to your blog entry from a few days back (complicated, eh?;), but no, we're not going back to Canada forever... just for a few years, until I finish my Master's and settle a few things. I figure we'll be there for two-three years tops. Then it'll be another assignment abroad (quite possibly at the headquarters in NYC):)

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    1. Yes! I saw that!! If you are relocated to NYC maybe THEN will meet because I keep missing you here in Paris!

      Paris is a tricky city to live in but the trouble is worth it....most of the time! :)

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  5. And I'm positive Paris will always love you too ;-)

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  6. Au fait, j'ai répondu à ton message en français au sujet de l'autre crétin;) C'est bien d'avoir un code;)

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