Day 123: Get Your Stuff Back. Part I.

So the case of Katie, the shady sublet continues....I suggest you make yourself a cup of coffee or better yet, pour yourself a glass of wine because this one takes the cake. I promise that you will be at least mildly entertained at my expense. After several sent e-mails to my summer sublet demanding my things and finally a phone call to my family lawyer, I received an e-mail confession. It turns out that my things have magically appeared. I love how lawyers have a talent for making things happen.

The charges against her were stressing her out to the point where she was having trouble sleeping at night and couldn't eat because she was being 'falsely' accused of theft - poor baby. Before her anxiety got the best of her, a mythical character named 'Nicolette' came forward to confess that she was the one who robbed me blind and wants me to forgive her for her wrongdoings, wants to become a better person and will do whatever she can to resolve the situation. Excuse me while I gag. 

The story is that 'Nicolette' came to visit Katie, my sublet from New York and while Katie was innocently working at the job she pretended to have at The Great Canadian, 'Nicolette' took this as an opportunity to dig through the depths of my apartment and go shopping. To explain, my apartment is long and situated under the roof of my building with slanted walls like a teepee, leaving two rows of nooks on each side that are covered by curtains at the shallow end of the wall. This is where I store things. I told her that I had kept some things in boxes in the nook behind my heavy kitchen table and to just leave them alone because she had plenty of storage throughout the rest of the apartment.

While my sublet was fake bartending, 'Nicolette', instead of exploring Paris and going to the nearby musée Picasso or the Pompidou, she decided that my apartment was the best attraction in Paris. Who needs to explore the caves of Les Catacombs when you have a chambre de bonne to go through? An obvious choice...

Apparently 'Nicolette's curiosity for my things behind the kitchen table grew so much that she could no longer resist and just had to see what was on the other side like it was the  Chronicles of Narnia over here. She removed the lamp and the plant off the table, dragged the cumbersome and heavy kitchen table over the carpeted floor, pulled the curtain aside, slid a second table I had leaning up against the nook, moved a stack of about 100 magazines, pulled out a heavy box, took a knife and cut open the tape, fished through dirty laundry (panties included. Gross, right?) and found the fashion mecca. LVMH in a box. Dior, Marc Jacobs, Givenchy, Louis Vuitton, oh my!

Clearly 'Nicolette' had no other choice but to steal what she had found but was soon faced with a predicament, she didn't have enough room in her suitcase to carry all of my possessions across the Atlantic. What's a thief to do?! Ta-da! A large suitcase appeared behind the box that was stuffed with my winter coats. Winter coats be damned! 'Nicolette' took the coats out of the suitcase (a beautiful olive green Givenchy trench, a camel Marc by Marc Jacobs peacoat and a vintage Missoni) and left them rolled up in a ball in the corner of my apartment. She then packed herself a bag filled with all of my clothes and my "Joyeux Anniversaire" banner. 

So Katie comes home from 'work' and 'Nicolette' had this new huge suitcase with her and is carrying a new bag, and Katie asks where she got such a fabulous bag. 'Nicolette' replies "A vintage store in Paris." Yes, 'Nicolette' managed to find the cheapest, coolest vintage store in Paris to stock up on vintage luxury items because after all since it's made here it must be cheaper. In fact, this store was so cheap that she had to buy a new suitcase to carry all of her new and cheap 'findings'. Katie doesn't find this is weird or the fact that there are rolled up coats in the corner that wasn't there before but to give my sublet the benefit of the doubt, she was probably exhausted from a long day at her fake job. 

Shortly after the said incident, Katie couldn't be found when I try to reach her. She had erased and blocked me on facebook, ignored my e-mails and for all intents and purposes was simply gone. What was she hiding from if she had no idea that 'Nicolette' stole my things? Upon the departure of my flat, she was instructed to call Aurelien, let him do a walk through and give him the keys so he can lock up behind her, a standard practice that normal innocent people do when they leave apartments. When questioned, Katie told me that a man knocked on the door and told her to get out or he'd call the police and instead of calling me, Aurelien or telling him to leave, she told me that she just left and added that she was in fact inconvenienced by this. 

To recap, I get robbed by Katie or 'Nicolette', an unidentifiable man kicked her out of my flat, she deleted her facebook because she was trying to get a 'real job' and now she couldn't talk to me on the phone because it got turned off because she couldn't pay the bill and was writing to me from a rest stop on her way to the Burning Man festival in Nevada.

So now Katie is pulling a 'Cybil' where she only contacts me as 'Nicolette' and no longer responds to e-mails because 'Nicolette' did it. I still write to my sublet but make sure to CC the fictional character.

Should I have left such valuables in my flat? No. I take fault in my naive decision 100%. Did I know she was going to seriously dig deep through my apartment and find hidden nooks with taped up boxes and go through layers of dirty laundry before finding the holy grail? No. To add another layer of sleaze, my sublet 'liked' certain pictures of me on facebook where I'm wearing the items in dispute.
Have I learned my lesson from all of this? Absolutely. The lesson is: plan ahead and not wait for the last minute and have over the keys to your flat without a proper screening, give myself time to store things at friend's houses even if it means my stuff is scattered around Paris and listen to my gut, if it doesn't feel right, it's probably because it isn't.

Stay tuned for how I got my things back and 'Nicolette's' interaction with the worst person in the world to cross. My Italian mother...mon dieu!


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  2. OH.MY.GOD. What a sick sick fuck.

    So screwed up and delusional that she probably figured that you WOULDN'T notice you'd been burgled or that once she was safely away in the US, she couldn't get caught. Incredible!

    I told you: you're taking a crash course in weeding! And it looks to me like you're learning your lessons too!

    Power to you for sticking to your guns! I'M so glad you're getting your stuff back! I know: stuff is stuff, but it's a matter of principle. You couldn't let her get away with it!


  3. @Shannon - I know, it's pretty crazy to say the very least. And thanks for the email address!

    @Duchesse - With all this weeding I've been doing, I'm hoping to see my garden soon! In due time, I suppose. And yeah, it is just stuff but it's a matter of principle. I'd like to think that I'm preventing this girl from doing it to someone else. Maybe she'll remember what a mess this whole thing was and think twice before ripping someone else off.

    She didn't think she could get caught, but I'm a tough bitch. My mom has a key chain that pretty much says it all: 'You toucha my keys, I breaka your face'. : )

  4. Do you know ''Nicolette's'' surname? I guess you've tried to internet stalk her? Did you find anything?

    This Katie girl must be pretty thick if she thinks creating a persona to hold accountable for this is going to deceive a lawyer? How does she think any of this is going to hold up? By the way, why was she subletting your flat? Had she just moved to Paris? And the most important question - how did she come up with the name Nicolette?

  5. @H - Yeah she gave it to me but when looked her up, the girl that populates in the search would seriously not do this. It's a marine biologist in like Cape Cod!

    She claimed she was moving here and I sublet her my flat for a month and in that time she was supposed to find a permanent situation. She claimed that she had a job at L'Oreal which turned into lying about having job at an Anglo bar at St.Michel to her disappearing and driving to Nevada. Now she has an 'internship' in California. This is like some major Casey Anthony shit. None of the stories add up...

  6. I like your mom:)

    You did the right thing, that's for sure. But I doubt that someone as delusional, irresponsible and all-around screwed up will learn from it. That nutcase seems to have a very healthy sense of entitlement and an uncanny talent for passing the buck.

    By the way, for all it's worth: each time I go to Paris for more than a few days, I rent an apartment, and it's standard procedure to pay a week's rent in cash as a security deposit. You get it back upon leaving provided that everything is in order. That's a bit of a hassle to carry 600 - 700 euros in cash, but I can totally understand the owners!


  7. This is very Casey Anthony. Weird stories that make no sense. Who says they're moving to Paris and the next week is in Nevada at a drug festival and then doing an internship in California - all in a month?! AND your stuff is missing. Sorry Katie, NO ONE is buying your story. NO ONE.

  8. Katarina La Sirena - facebook

  9. How come the name is not Katie Milleisen anymore, how come it says Barbara?

    1. Because I don't want anymore of her negativity in my life or on this blog. She will never pay me back and while it sucks, and I know that she is more than able to pay me back, I just don't need to be associated with this crook anymore. I didn't do it for her. I did it for me.