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Day 22: Be All American


I woke up to the warm summer sun kissing my face through the teeny tiny window in my teeny tiny apartment, and the distant sound of a neighbor practicing the piano. This was going to be a good weekend, I could just feel it. I have no choice but to at least try. I can't be miserable forever....can I? Before I could let myself tempt myself with staying in and drowning in another weekend of depression, I immediately got up to give it a jump start and off to my new Saturday morning tradition of going to my 'Body Attack' class at the gym. This class is like aerobics on crack. I'm addicted to it, so much that I make sure that I don't get too drunk the night before so I am not hungover as I take on the highest intensity of cardio in my life.  

After the class, I opted to just leave instead of taking a shower and changing into the Parisian standard of street clothes: cute day dresses, ballet flats, and scarves. Today, I was feeling rebellious and instead I wore my unsightly trainers, leggings and sweat stained t-shirt. Quelle bellegosse! 

I bopped down the street with a wagging high pony-tail while listening to Ke$ha, and caught a glimpse of myself in a storefront window. I couldn't help but chuckle. I was so American. If I were in the States, I wouldn't feel so out of place, but here? I looked like an idiot. I figured I had already committed to the role and might as well top off the look with the ultimate American accessory: an iced latte...non-fat of course. Just as I was going to go out of my way to cave in to my craving on rue de Rivoli, a Starbucks appeared as I was approaching Bastille. It was meant to be! I generally don't frequent Starbucks here because it's expensive, especially on my clerical job salary but today was special. I ordered a grande iced vanilla latte and enjoyed the sensory memory the taste had, whisking me back to 1999 during a simpler time during the early stages of my caffeine addiction.

What is it about exercise, a little caffeine, and sunshine that can change your mood? Could it be that I am crossing over into the next phase of the break-up? True acceptance and a renewed appreciation of being in my own company? Today is about regaining comfort in my own skin, and appreciating the little things around me...even if I am all alone and haven't had a conversation in Paris in three months. 

One day at a time, right?

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