Day 166: Ask Questions?

One of my favorite movies to curl up with a hot cup of tea and a cozy blanket is I Heart Huckabees, a movie that I saw on a whim at the Arclight back in L.A many moons ago. I was such a wild child. 

Recently, I had asked Séb if he had seen it and was pleased with the fact that he hadn't and that it was going to be me who'd expose him to this clever, off-beat comedy. What is it about sharing movies and music that feels so good? It's like that feeling you get when you see your food coming out of the kitchen in a restaurant. Pure bliss.

In brief, the premise is Jason Schwartzman's character is looking for the meaning of his life and wants to know if certain events are coincidences so he hires existential detectives played by Lily Tomlin and Dustin Hoffman to look into his 'case' who believe that everything in life is connected and that we're all part of a puzzle. He doubts the method when it is challenged by French thinker (leave it to the French to contest everything!) played by Isabelle Huppert who thinks that the world is cold, human drama is inevitable and that everything that happens is random. I see myself on both sides of this argument where I find comfort in both.

Not having seen this movie in years, it took on a different meaning this time around given the events that have taken place this year. Everything did seem connected where it was as if I had pushed a domino in February and everything that has happened was a result of what had happened before. Not one event stood on its own, but do they ever?

An existential detective certainly would have come in handy back in the spring when I was overwhelming myself with questions that I couldn't find the answers to. I was alone in Paris and didn't know what I was doing here, why had my friends stopped speaking to me during a time when I needed them the most and wondered if I was destined to be alone forever because I never seem to make a relationship work (No one ever said that I wasn't dramatic). The definition for existential crisis on wikipedia is: "The sense of being alone and isolated in the world....during a hurtful experience that leaves one seeking meaning." That was me.

Joking around, I had asked Séb if existential detectives existed, at least in France. In the States, I feel like everything exists. He took it upon himself to call Duluc Detective on Rue du Louvre and asked if they did this sort of thing. I really think I have met my match, he is just as nuts as I am.

"Do you investigate on existential cases?" was his opening question after his polite Bonjour Monsieur. He went on to explain that the problem was that the case would be from the spring as the crisis had already passed but his girlfriend would like some answers wanting to know if everything is connected and what the meaning was. So not only did he ask if they investigated these kinds of cases but did they investigate them in the past. He also went on to explain that I have a blog with a lot of evidence of my past state of mind that would serve as a useful tool. There was silence on the other end and an exaggerated exhale. "Excusez-moi Monsieur mais je ne comprends pas ce que vous me demandez." Séb tried to explain again, this time more clear (if that's even possible) which he was promptly transferred over to the dial tone. No dice.

"Did you just prank call that mysterious detective place over by the Louvre?" I asked in shock. "You wanted to know if this existed in France, then I wanted to know if it existed in France, so I called." he said frankly with his piercing blue eyes staring back at me. Oh, in that case. "You know you can get arrested for prank calls in the States." I said trying to sound serious but secretly loving the fact that my boyfriend really did call and ask about my former existential crisis. "Americans! You are so cute with your little laws." he said while google searching his next victim to call. We're not cute, we're serious. Pff!

So if you were wondering if Duluc Detectives in the 1st investigate existential crises, the answer is no, so don't call and ask. What would you guys do without me?

In all seriousness, I know that a detective is not what I needed to find meaning and answers, what I needed was time. I can see everything so much clearer now that I have stepped outside of that state. The answers are so simple. I am in Paris because I love it here, my friends stopped speaking to me because someone told them I had said terrible untrue things about them and will I end up alone forever? That remains to be seen. Life is a chain of events whether they are connected or not, it's still the same stuff just a different day, and perhaps the search for happiness is more important than the search for answers.


  1. The definition of an existential crisis totally relates with me as well! I know that feeling all too well!

    I think I'll be in Paris tomorrow evening. Still looking for hotels but it should work out. I cannot wait to check out your favorite spots! Will let you know what I think. :-)

    Glad to hear your BF is such a cool guy. And your friends stopped speaking to you? Wtf. Sorry to hear that. They shouldn't believe what everyone tells them.

    And... I haven't seen that movie yet!!!

  2. @Dana - Yes! Check out the movie, it's great! It a little quirky, if you're into that. And out of the places, I love La Panfoulia for a burger, Les Etages for a banana mojito or La Perla for a cinnamon margarita!

    As for my former friends, they had told me that this person did this but at the time I didn't believe them and disregarded what they said. Now it's too late to reconcile but I definitely learned my lesson, people can be so mean.

  3. Hi Ella, yes quirky's ma thang :). I checked out the trailer and now I'm dying to see it. I don't think my bf has seen it either - so it would be nice to watch ensemble.

    Thanks for these few highlights because your list is quite long. I am really excited to be leaving tonight. A friend told me I must see Versailles which I wasn't planning on going to at all.. but I guess I may do it. She was raving about it.

    My French friend from Paris told me two galleries to see: "Magda Danysz in the 11e and Perrotin in the 3e + all the ones in the Marais"

    ..So, seems like there's a lot in your 'hood! I will def try those drinks at those places! Sounds yummy. I LOVE mojitos and never had a banana one!

    Merci encore :-)