Day 154: Look Back But Don't Stare.

Today is the big day. My cousin Vinny is marrying Carmella, his girlfriend of 10 years today. Words cannot describe how sad I am that I cannot be there. Regardless of our e-mail exchange which I am putting behind me, he knows that this is one of the rare occasions where Paris is the last place I want to be and that I will be thinking of them all day.

Back when all of the engagements were announced last autumn, Angelo and Josephine, Kitty and Joaos, Vinny and Carmella, me and MF, I could not have fast forwarded to today and predicted how different my life would be a year later. I thought I would still be nestled in our apartment in Oberkampf, spending weekends in the suburbs with his grandparents whom I still miss terribly, helping his family at their restaurant, bitching about him to his brother's Catalanian girlfriend over wine and cigarettes on cafe terraces in the Marais to my life now; temping in a finance office, living in a chambre de bonne, dating a great guy who doesn't provoke me like MF did, my main form of transportation is hanging off the back of a mint green Vespa, writing a blog about getting dumped and going back to school in the spring. Hm, not a bad life makeover, my life seems to have more purpose now. Luckily, I have no one to apologize to on how boring I must have been last year because I don't speak to anyone from those days. Or rather, they don't speak to me.

So, I received an email asking if I had lost money due to the planning costs and deposits for the wedding and the answer to that is no, not one cent. We didn't want the big white wedding with flowers, dj's, reception halls, etc. We wanted a simple ceremony followed by a dinner in France and in New York with a skeletal guest list of very close friends and family. My dress was purchased for 60 dollars at a vintage store on Sunset Boulevard. A 1960's column lace dress with rhinestones on the bust and hem and empire waist detailed by a gold satin ribbon leading to a brooch closure in the back. It really is quite lovely. Who would have thought that the dress would be hanging sad, lonely and unworn in the closet at my mother's house? I'm still wondering if I can wear in the future. Is that tacky? I guess I'll cross that bridge when it comes.

Okay, one wedding at a time, today is Vinny's wedding and not only did I think I'd be there with my husband, I thought I'd be there. Life certainly throws curve balls but I knew before moving to Paris that there would be sacrifices and a moment like this was bound to happen in some shape or form. I just wish it wasn't in the form of my favorite cousin's wedding.

I wish them both a gorgeous New York autumn wedding. Je vous aime.


  1. Funny... I missed my fave cousin's wedding in April, but she totally understood. However, when I mentioned to my mother that I was going to Paris for Easter, I learned that Josee and her new hubby were gonna be there as well... so we (the Duke and moi;)) crashed the honeymoon! :))) We spent a wonderful evening with them in the Quartier Latin, took them to places they would not have explored on their own, drank a lot of wine, laughed a lot... and sent them to the Jules Verne for a romantic lunch as a wedding present:) The quality time I got to spend with them in Paris meant a lot more to me than my going to their wedding, and our magical evening together is a memory I will always cherish... so I'm sure you'll find a way to make it up to Vinny and Carmella:)

    Isn't that great that Katie Milleisen didn't steal your wedding dress?:) There's always a silver lining, I guess:)

    Your life has changed a lot in the past year and it's only the beginning... and change is good:)


  2. I love what you just wrote. I fantasized about doing something more special for their wedding than going. I hope I'll be able to make it up to them. I really do love them.

    And the wedding dress was stored at my mom's house! Thank god!

    Happy Monday. : /

  3. I think they would remember an adventure with you in Paris more than they would have remembered your presence at their wedding. The bride and groom don't actually get to spend time with anyone at the wedding. In the end, it's just a big costly blur:) (Not a fan of weddings;))

  4. I'm not a fan of weddings either. : /

    I am in the wedding party of Kitty's wedding next month but it is the last time I'm doing it. I don't believe in all the fuss. But that's just moi. : )